Reposted from a previous thread with some editing by Jeff.
April wrote...
I read Mike K. labeling me and many others as Haters! Those of us that have escaped the cult as haters.
I have tried to push that aside and say no, I do not Hate these men and women that controlled my life for 13 years! I tried to reassure many that I am not bitter, not angry, hold hateful feelings for them. I know those feelings are not Christ like. Though I am sure Christ has serious righteous anger for these people and the treatment they have doled out to his children!
As I am learning and really trying to accept the past, I do hate the life that I lived in NTCC. I hate for the financial situation we were in while in Bible school and out in the ministry. You really could not get ahead and raise a family UNLESS you becamse the harsh dictators that NTCC wants you to be. I hate that I was not able to grieve for my Grandfather, my Great Aunt or my Grandmother. I lost about five close family members while in NTCC and did not attend ONE of their funerals. Going home during Bible school was not a option. We could barely scrap up the money for the tuition, pay the babysitter, tithe, offerings for MANY service's a week, gas for the vehicle etc. I lost my Grandfather one month before a conference. I was Denied being able to go home. If I did, I would have LOST that entire semester. So I stayed in WA and went to that conference and did squezze out a short visit but when you go home, (which is very rare) you don't want to spend that time crying. You do not know when the next time you will be there to see them, or who you might lose inbetween visits. So yes, I do hate that I tried to grieve alone.
What is now happening since leaving ntcc. It all hits you at once. BAMB! That depression of losing loved one's, those lost years, those things you said or not did. Then your left to make decisions on your own that can be fearful. It was all decided for US! Now I am learning to rely on God, leaning on him for guidance. Before I never understood being a Christian. I even have trouble with that word, Christian. I see it still to much with NTCC and not as it should be seen as something special.
I hate that I became a zombie who could not think on my own. That women were supposed to be bubble head ninnies. Not many of them read a newspaper or pay attention to world affairs. Can't even hold a conversation about tough topics. It's like before women VOTED. Oh that is too much for your pretty little head; WOMAN!
I hate for how I treated my BLOOD family. Cut them off. Bashed them as sinners. I am learning things I said to my loved one's. I can not even remember saying. And I cry for those things I said,and have no recolection of doing it.
I hate how my marriage was rushed; no dating and got married in about five months time. Used to take pride in that while in the cult. I was relieved that I never had to sit on that gawd awful WALL! I am just now getting to know my husband. It almost broke up my marriage because we have many different interests. Most couples do, but in NTCC all of us had different interests. We were the same, did the same things, listed to the same music, hair styles the same, bought similar dresses, shoes, purses. ALL OF US WERE THE SAME ROBOTS! Now I am allowed to be myself and still stay saved as a Christian.
Me, I have never Hated a person in my life. I just can't say I hate RW Davis or hate MC Kekel, or T Kekel etc. I do HATE what they do to people's live's and I hate that they twist the scripture, the mind control that goes on, the double talking. I hate the false teachings and the spirit behind their actions. It is NOT OUT OF LOVE! I know; I never felt LOVE by those people. I FEARED them. I avoided RW Davis and MC Kekel. To go and call him for permission made me sweat. I did not want to get on the phone and ask another adult for permission. My own mother gave me more responsiblity then this so called Bible school!
So if there going to call us "Haters", then that is what I HATE!
I will pray for these people, that their eyes will be open to the hurt they have caused and the damage that they have caused. Their hands are covered with the Blood of many souls!
April Michalik
I read Mike K. labeling me and many others as Haters! Those of us that have escaped the cult as haters.
I have tried to push that aside and say no, I do not Hate these men and women that controlled my life for 13 years! I tried to reassure many that I am not bitter, not angry, hold hateful feelings for them. I know those feelings are not Christ like. Though I am sure Christ has serious righteous anger for these people and the treatment they have doled out to his children!
As I am learning and really trying to accept the past, I do hate the life that I lived in NTCC. I hate for the financial situation we were in while in Bible school and out in the ministry. You really could not get ahead and raise a family UNLESS you becamse the harsh dictators that NTCC wants you to be. I hate that I was not able to grieve for my Grandfather, my Great Aunt or my Grandmother. I lost about five close family members while in NTCC and did not attend ONE of their funerals. Going home during Bible school was not a option. We could barely scrap up the money for the tuition, pay the babysitter, tithe, offerings for MANY service's a week, gas for the vehicle etc. I lost my Grandfather one month before a conference. I was Denied being able to go home. If I did, I would have LOST that entire semester. So I stayed in WA and went to that conference and did squezze out a short visit but when you go home, (which is very rare) you don't want to spend that time crying. You do not know when the next time you will be there to see them, or who you might lose inbetween visits. So yes, I do hate that I tried to grieve alone.
What is now happening since leaving ntcc. It all hits you at once. BAMB! That depression of losing loved one's, those lost years, those things you said or not did. Then your left to make decisions on your own that can be fearful. It was all decided for US! Now I am learning to rely on God, leaning on him for guidance. Before I never understood being a Christian. I even have trouble with that word, Christian. I see it still to much with NTCC and not as it should be seen as something special.
I hate that I became a zombie who could not think on my own. That women were supposed to be bubble head ninnies. Not many of them read a newspaper or pay attention to world affairs. Can't even hold a conversation about tough topics. It's like before women VOTED. Oh that is too much for your pretty little head; WOMAN!
I hate for how I treated my BLOOD family. Cut them off. Bashed them as sinners. I am learning things I said to my loved one's. I can not even remember saying. And I cry for those things I said,and have no recolection of doing it.
I hate how my marriage was rushed; no dating and got married in about five months time. Used to take pride in that while in the cult. I was relieved that I never had to sit on that gawd awful WALL! I am just now getting to know my husband. It almost broke up my marriage because we have many different interests. Most couples do, but in NTCC all of us had different interests. We were the same, did the same things, listed to the same music, hair styles the same, bought similar dresses, shoes, purses. ALL OF US WERE THE SAME ROBOTS! Now I am allowed to be myself and still stay saved as a Christian.
Me, I have never Hated a person in my life. I just can't say I hate RW Davis or hate MC Kekel, or T Kekel etc. I do HATE what they do to people's live's and I hate that they twist the scripture, the mind control that goes on, the double talking. I hate the false teachings and the spirit behind their actions. It is NOT OUT OF LOVE! I know; I never felt LOVE by those people. I FEARED them. I avoided RW Davis and MC Kekel. To go and call him for permission made me sweat. I did not want to get on the phone and ask another adult for permission. My own mother gave me more responsiblity then this so called Bible school!
So if there going to call us "Haters", then that is what I HATE!
I will pray for these people, that their eyes will be open to the hurt they have caused and the damage that they have caused. Their hands are covered with the Blood of many souls!
April Michalik
Jeff said...
I can relate.
Jeff
Ange wrote...
ReplyDeleteNot much to add to what you posted, April.
When they call you haters, it's because they hate you. They know they are wrong for doing so. The conviction is too much. So they pitchfork it all onto you.
It's good to see you using your whole name to post. The fear is gone. They want to control you still. They can not. The shackles have come off.
Perfect love casteth off fear.
April,
ReplyDeleteRemember what Jesus once stated "Know that THEY (NTCC Leadership) hated Me before they hated you, you are not of this world"
Really, if you look at it, NTCC are the Haters! Lovers of selves rather than the lovers of God.
Vanity, Vanity, all is vanity saith the Preacher.
By the way I took my family to a mini vacation on the Beach, we grew so close together as a family durig that time, something which NTCC DENIED ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO WHILE IN NTCC.
Bro Johnson
Johnson,
ReplyDeleteYou reminded me of something. Rw was always saying. If folks are not hating you,dislike you. Then your doing something wrong. As if being a minister folks had to hate you. To be a Christian?
April
April,
ReplyDeleteYea, I experience the same things at work. I get told that my Soldiers hate me all the time. Good! That means I am doing my job. I am not here to win a popularity contest, like Mike Kekel is. You can obviously see through the facade of NTCC, would to God that everyone else would, too!!
I was getting ready for bed. brush the teeth,wash the face,ect. But then I took,GASP! My vitamins. Who remembers RW Davis bashing vitamins. Anyone that has a handle on that one. Why did he bash vitamins.
ReplyDeleteI just had a doc. appt. I am lacking in the B12 dept. and could have been affecting my back nerves for quite sometimes. I am not taking B12 pills. Back is feeling better.
He didn't want us to carry life insurance,or take vitamins. What about personal responsiblity. Taking care of Gods creation(vitamins) Or taking care of our loved one's(life insurance) because we can all see the proof. That ntcc will NOT be there for men that die while in the cult. And there wives decide to stay. Will be left to fend for themselve's.
Folks in ntcc if you have not. Go out and get life insurance. You are ON YOUR OWN! Use that brain that God gave you. Use some common sense. One thing that those in ntcc are lacking!
April